Thursday, February 23, 2012

Waiting is so HARD!

So I've decided I have to wait.  Every time I end up liking a boy who hasn't been on a mission it "blows up in my face" as the latest jerk put it.  I really like a boy and he supposedly likes me back. But he just wants to be friends because he "doesn't want to hurt me, doesn't want it to blow up in his face, and doesn't want anything serious before his mission". Well that's nice and all and I understand, but that doesn't mean that I'm going to stick around if he's not willing to put a little friendly effort into our friendship.  I feel like he expects me to keep liking him even if he's given me no chance.  AND he keeps doing things that 'just friends' don't do. Like calling me and only me as soon as he gets a little service, and hugging me all cute and boyfriend like and not letting go.  What am I supposed to do? Not hug you back?  And now to top things off, he pulled the most duchey move in the world last night by asking me to prom.  Weird right? Especially because I kind of hoped he would. I haven't been asked to my prom so I asked him what he was doing the night of because I don't want to stay home alone that night and do nothing.  But his prom is that same night. If I had known that, I wouldn't have said anything.  And I sure as hell wasn't trying to get him to ask me either! That's pathetic.  Well anyways he asked me and I was worried he did because he felt bad. He assured me that wasn't the case but then, he proceeded to tell me that should I get asked to prom by another boy I should go with the other boy instead of him.  That made me suspicious so I asked once more if he just asked me because he felt bad for me.  This time he was honest about it and told me yes.  I told him I didn't know what to say and that he pretty much just ruined my entire night.  which he did.  I told him he should just say what he means because I'm tired of getting mixed messages from him.  He told me he doesn't know what he means and I told him he had better find out.  I then asked him why he would feel bad for me and ask me when he didn't want to.  Keep in mind he had asked no one to his prom yet.  He continued to be honest which I'm thankful for but I wish he wasn't so stupid.  Turns out there is a girl at his school whom it would be easier to take due to how far away we live from each other.  I asked if he knew this before or after he asked me.  He gave me the wise response of "...sort of during the process... :/ sorry..."
As you can imagine I was hurt and pissed off.  He thinks things blow up in his face? BAH! I'd like to show him a bit of my world.  lies. lies. try to get her to put out and drop her when you find out she wont. more lies. and my personal favorite, "your not good enough."  Yeah...things blow up in his face alright....  any ways..... I decided I'll give him the silent treatment and see what happens.  And in the long run... I guess I should just wait for me to stop liking him and focus on graduating instead.  And then I won't actually like a guy unless he is a returned missionary.  And lucky me I don't know any of those.  All I want is to have my own family even though I know it will be hard.  But I hate the waiting part and everything in between! especially since on the way every boy I like hurts me.  And I know nothing good will ever come to you unless you hurt a little before it comes, but why does it have to hurt so freaking much? I HATE WAITING!!!!!

4 comments:

  1. Honey, You can like him, and he can like you, but that doesn't mean you have to be serious. If someone else asks you out go, if he wants to ask someone else out, let him, and don't get so caught up. I know that is easier said, than done. It helps to keep in mind that you are dating to have fun, and not to find a relationship. Also that dating is helping you to know what you want in a guy, and practice in how to deal with issues, because they will come up in marriage too.

    You are young, really young, don't be in such a hurry to grow up and find a relationship. I do hope someone asks you to the prom, but if not him don't sweat it.

    I love you -- and you are great with or without a boyfriend. Remember a boy doesn't define you.

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    1. yes i know that. but it's really shitty that they always treat me like crap. but i won't get asked. its next week and people at my school don't really even like me as a friend. so....yeah! me and kristi are having an anti-prom that night now anyways. Kalin is an ass. anyone who is willing to treat me like back up so does not deserve me.

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  2. Dating is "supposed" to be fun. My motto was to get out as soon as it looses its fun. Most boys aren't worth worrying about and you are right you do deserve to be treated well!!! I was always pretty non committal about boys. One day it didn't loose it's fun and that's when I knew I was in trouble and now look at me, stuck with Ben forever :) You're not just waiting, you are living your life, so enjoy it!!

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    1. Thanks you guys! you know, I read my comment and I'm truly ashamed that I used such fowl language. Just because I was angry and upset doesn't constitute that kind of language :( I'm sorry. oh...and I got asked to prom at midnight on tuesday night haha :) I answered him by having the school cop arrest him

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