Being Selfish

You know, Ian will get his mission call soon and I'm a little upset.  It's not that I don't want him to go because I do.  Very much.  It's just we decided to break it off when he gets his call and to be perfectly honest, I don't want to.  But I know we have to. It really is for the best. I don't want to be selfish and have half his heart when all of it should be given to the Lord and the people he is sent to teach.  Plus a lot could happen in two years.  He asked me to wait but he told me to date around.  Both scare me.  A lot can happen.  I feel so selfish.